The Overwhelmed Bird

I have not felt this overwhelmed in a very long time. On top of having multiple photo shoots, meetings, consultations, phone conferences and my regular editing, we’ve been in the midst of counter-offers and worrying about if our loan approval will come through. We countered the buyers, then they countered back. The entire time, we’ve been told our loan will be approved by today. Well, it hasn’t been. We’re pretty much unwilling to accept the buyer’s offer without an approval on our loan. So we need to make a decision by 5pm tomorrow. I doubt we’ll have the approval by then. So I think we’re going to put a contingency of sorts in our acceptance saying we accept, on the condition that our own loan is approved.

Hopefully that doesn’t scare the buyer away. But it might. I guess that’s a risk we’re going to have to take.

Through this all, I’ve been keeping my sanity. But today I started to unravel a bit. I’m just feeling overwhelmed by all the unknown possibilities that make up this process. Will we get approved? Will our buyer stick with us? Are we making the best decision? So many unknowns. It makes my stomach knot, my head hurt and my eyes water.

Through it all, I’m still trying to maintain the mentality of a bird, like I posted in a recent post. Trying to not worry. Trying to trust that God has it all in control. Trying to see things from His perspective.

Jesus knows that anxiety is something all humans struggle with, which is why he says “Do not worry about tomorrow for tomorrow will worry about itself” in Matthew 6:34. He knew this is something we struggle with. He doesn’t say “if you ever happen to find yourself worrying” or ‘there’s a chance you may feel anxious” or “anxious feelings might creep into your thoughts every now and then.” No, he just flat out says, do not worry.

Of all the people in the world who have had a good reason worry, I would say Jesus was at the top of the list. Afterall, he knew about his upcoming execution. He knew there wasn’t much that could stop it. And what does he pray? “Yet not as I will, but as you will.“Matthew 26:39

Excellent example of how I ought to be praying right now. Thanks, Jesus.


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