His sermon really brought some stuff to the surface for me.
My whole adult life, I felt like God was calling me to become a counselor. My friends always told me I’d make a great counselor, I’m very good at listening to people, I’m compassionate, my spiritual gifts are encouragement and discernment and I have always had a great desire to help people. After college, I prayed about it and and I felt like God gave me the green light to pursue counseling. So I went ahead and got my Master’s degree in counseling.
Along the way, I hit a big bump in the road. I actually got to do some counseling. 500 hours worth of it. And I really really didn’t like it. At all. Not even a little bit.
Nothing about counseling felt normal or natural to me. I never knew what to say or do in a counseling session. I didn’t know how to “fix” people’s problems, or even begin to help them. I got nervous before counseling sessions. Those nerves eventually turned into borderline panic attacks before seeing clients. I was frustrated, scared, sad and very disappointed in myself.
So after I graduated, I walked away from counseling and I pursued photography full-time. I have a wonderful job with great clients and I get to travel to fun locations. But I don’t necessarily feel “called” to be a photographer for the rest of my life. It’s been a wonderful blessing for this season of my life, but it isn’t something I want to do long-term. Running a business and being self-employed is hard work and I don’t think I want to do this forever.
Yesterday, as I sat in church, I felt a nudge from the Holy Spirit. “You know you were meant to help people.” I tried to push it out of my mind. But the harder I tried to push it away, the stronger it came on.
I fought against it because I keep coming back to the idea that I’m supposed to be a counselor in the “traditional” sense. And I know that type of counseling isn’t for me. But after thinking about it for a while, I realized that just because I don’t like traditional counseling, doesn’t mean I can’t help people. It doesn’t mean that there isn’t something out there that would be a perfect fit for me. There are plenty of options to explore!
I really feel like I’ve just touched the tip of the iceberg with this. At this point, I don’t know what the future holds. It’s definitely scary to start thinking about a new direction in your life. I don’t know if I’ll quit photography or if I’ll find a job I feel “called” to. But I do know that a change is in the air and I’m setting off on my own wild goose chase.
I’ll definitely be posting more on this as I discover new things on this little journey of mine. I would absolutely love any prayers for God’s guidance and direction as I learn more about what the Holy Spirit has in store for me!