Being self-employed sometimes feels like I’m sailing a boat all by myself in the middle of the ocean. 90% of the time, I’m all “la ti da, isn’t this lovely….here I am in the sunshine with the wind blowing through my hair…the water is clear and blue….is that a dolphin over there? Oh how lovely!” And then 10% of the time I’m like “Oh. My. God. I’m sailing a boat all by myself and I never even went to sailing school! How did I get here? Where am I? Am I lost? I don’t see land….was that a shark? Am I sinking?

I have 1-2 minor freak-outs every year about my business, thank goodness it’s no more than that! I don’t think I slept more than 3 hours last night because my mind wouldn’t shut off. Am I charging enough? Am I charging too much? Why haven’t I heard back from that bride who I met with last week. Did she not like me? Am I calculating my taxes right? Should I redo my website? Am I standing out from my competition enough? Does my contract make sense? And on and on and on it went. I woke up this morning exhausted, stressed out and pretty much convinced my photography business is dying.

And then I prayed.

I heard the Lord say over and over and over again “Becky, chill out. I’ve got this. You’re fine, just slow down. Breathe. Be still and know that I am God. Let me be the wind in your sails ok?” Ah, instant relief.

In the end, I have to trust that God will take care of me. He’ll see me through. He’ll keep the clients coming and help lessen my anxiety. He has blessed my business from Day 1, literally. He’s kept this little boat of mine afloat for 5 years with no problems at all. I just need to hang on allow the real Captain to sail for a while.

I’m writing this blog post as a reminder to myself in 6 months when I have another meltdown. Chill out Becky. Slow down. Breathe. He’s got this!

Don’t you love this image? Wherever it is…I want to go there!


2 thoughts on “Sailing

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