Fishing Widow

For almost a month straight, David has been invited to go on fishing trips with various buddies. Me being the selfless and wonderful wife I am (if I do say so myself!), happily agreed that he should go. Fishing is good for his soul. Even if he doesn’t catch a fish all day, there’s something about being on the river with a fly rod in his hand that is cathartic for him. And there’s definitely something about hanging out with his buddies that’s good for him. So I’m all for him fishing. He comes home tired but happy and ready to face the week ahead. Go fish, I tell him. Go catch those fishies!

But somewhere along the line I realized that weeks upon weeks of him being gone on fishing trips, while healthy for him, wasn’t exactly healthy for me. I’m an introvert by nature, happy to spend time alone. But we all have our limits and spending 4 weekends in a row at home alone wasn’t exactly good for me.

Can I just take a little sidestep here for a sec? A side effect of infertility that no one told me about was how it can completely change friendships. While all your friends are busy raising children, fighting for sleep and having playdates, you are….not doing any of that. Many of my friends aren’t exactly in a position to take an entire weekend off from raising their children so they can have brunch, go for a hike and get manicures with me. Ya know? In fact, some of them have stopped being my friend all together because I’m not a mom. I actually had a “friend” tell me once that she didn’t know how to be my friend anymore because I didn’t have children. Like, whatever would we talk about if we didn’t talk about our children? *gasp* Whatever would we do if we weren’t at the park with our babies? *gasp*

Don’t get me wrong. I have plenty of beautiful friends with children who I see on a regular basis. They are so good to me and I know they would be there for me if I needed them. It’s just not always the easiest thing for them to drop everything they’re doing at the last minute so they can come play with me. Mix that with my Cabin in the Woods Syndrome, and it just gets ugly sometimes. But I am learning to do a better job at reaching out to my friends. I have a lot to choose from, but it’s up to me to let them know when I’m in need of a friend. And I’m feeling extra grateful for my faithful friends who won’t leave my side, even though my life looks different from theirs.

Anyways, when David got invited on another fishing trip in Wyoming last weekend, we both thought it would be best for me to come along too. He knew that me being a fishing widow for another weekend probably wasn’t what the doctor ordered. I’m thankful for an amazing husband who wants to take care of my heart as much as I want to take care of his.  And I’m thankful for guy friends who don’t mind a girl tagging along on their fishing trip. 😉

 We saw like a dozen bald eagles as we floated in our raft down the river. They were so big and so cool! I didn’t see this many when I was in Alaska, they were everywhere in Wyoming. So amazing! 

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4 thoughts on “Fishing Widow

  1. I agree – it is different. I'm working 8-5 while 3 of my best friends have play dates with their babies… Just not the same. However, I'm SO glad you get to take amazing trips like this one – glad you went with him!

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  2. Those boys better not complain… they get AMAZING photos of all of their fishies so they can remember the trip fondly. Plus, now there's evidence… that fish was actually this big not THIS big… see, here's the picture. : ) Glad you got to enjoy. Fly fishing is so calming. It's something about the river. I understand why the husband enjoys it so much!

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  3. Can I just say a quick AMEN to the side effect of infertility? I expected a lot of the feelings and emotions I have gone through in the last few years but I had NO IDEA how much it would change my friendships when they started having kids and I started feeling left behind. I find myself drawn to people who don't have families now or want them in the near future, it's much easier to keep up those friendships in this stage of life right now.
    And those fishing pictures? GORGEOUS! You always find the greatest shots of our state.

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  4. Beautiful pictures as always!
    I'm SO glad I got to spend some time with you this weekend! I wish it happened more.
    Even though I am a mom, I think I'm a lot like you in that I'm an introvert and I like being a home-body. I also don't seek the girl time I know I need and in turn end up isolating myself.
    Love you friend, and though I may not be able to hang out ag the last minute, I know we could still talk about many other things than raising children and have a wonderful time!

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